Have you ever had someone over-share their personal life with you? Their personal struggles or problems financially, sexually, or relationally about themselves, their spouse, kids, parents, in-laws, friends, or co-workers?
“But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts - murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person, but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.” Matthew 15:18-20.
Personally, I’m the type of person who minds my own business and refuses to be nosy. I’m very careful in guarding my heart, peace, and mind because I tend to get distracted easily. That’s why I would take social media breaks once in a while to quiet the outside noises in order to focus on what truly matters.
Plus, there is a thin line between people oversharing vs. complaining/gossiping. The truth is: complaining does not do anything. It does not help resolve any issue, instead, it robs our joy and peace of mind.
Now going back to the people at work or school who would overshare. I never thought I would hear someone from work over share their problem with another co-worker (especially with the opposite gender). As the youngest one there, I try to be respectful and invisible by minding my own work. But of course, it’s hard to focus when there are people who are constantly talking to each other.
I started to question: why are they talking about their personal problem? Shouldn't they solve their problem with their partner instead of sharing it with their co-worker? Plus, what can the co-worker do? The most they can do is give a different perspective, but the decision is fairly up to the main person oversharing in the first place.
Now my next question to you is: Have YOU ever overshared your personal story or struggles with someone in exchange of receiving a solution from them? OR have YOU complained about what others are doing that is against what you want them to do? Or simply because you just don’t like what the other person is doing?
When you are in a tough season it is important WHO you go to and WHAT you share with them. I believe we all should have people in our life that can help coach, guide, and teach us in finding a solution to our problem. Perhaps a close friend, family member, mentor, or leader. These are people who will help us grow spiritually, mentally, creatively, or financially.
WHO you go and share your heart to should always be people that would be accountable, honest, and full of integrity. They genuinely care about you and will not share your personal life with another person.
Moreover, you can receive great advice from people who you have never met before too; yes, even leaders from YouTube, books, podcasts can teach us many life lessons.
Nonetheless, not everyone should have direct access to their personal life.
The older I get, the more and more people I encounter and learn from. Perhaps people from work, school, church, grocery, restaurants, and other places who have different values and beliefs from me. As much hospitable and friendly I try to be to everyone, I am very restrictive when it comes to my personal life.
The stories I share here at SkillfulPen and to other people are stories that would encourage others to live a positive and fruitful life. When it comes to personal issues, I prefer to keep them to myself, God, and a few friends and family that I look up to.
Until it is the right time to share the victory, breakthrough, and lessons learned, then it is best to keep them in private.
There is already too much trouble, drama, sickness, and problems in this world, so the least I can do is to share a piece of my passion, peace, love, and joy through my words, actions, and videos. Simply put: being the salt and light in this dark world. 🧂💡
Every single day we are given the choice to speak life or death. The words you speak today will have a direct impact on your future.
Proverbs 18:21 says "The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences."
The more you say “I am dumb, I cannot do this, why am I such a failure?” then the more frustrated and stressed you will be as a person. Whereas when you say “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, I have the wisdom and knowledge from God,” then the more confident, creative, and happier your life will be.
Like the verse mentioned in the beginning, you can know the condition of a person’s heart through the words that come out of their mouth. 👄
By listening to what people say, you can easily guess their current mood and level of maturity. 🍼
When we observe babies or young children, we understand their need for attention when they are hungry, upset, or are feeling cranky. They usually cry, throw a tantrum, or talk back when they are not happy. But as they grow older, they are able to mature and learn to control their emotions. Wouldn’t it be funny if an adult still acts like a young child when they are mad or don’t get what they want in life? Frankly, it is not funny nor cute when a grown-up person acts childish or selfish.
The next time you are in a social gathering, school, or work, I dare you to not speak as much and instead, observe what others are saying and doing. Try to guess their current mood and level of maturity simply by observing the other person. It is a fun and interesting experiment. You actually get to learn about the other person even before you ask them questions.
The last point I want to share with you is to also test your own maturity. Let us not be the type of people who are afraid of change and refuses to grow.
Step out of your comfort zone because there is always room for growth. 🌱🌳🍎 Continue to evolve in the areas of discovery, creativity, wisdom, gentleness, humility, love, patience, and perseverance.
Instead of expecting others to behave a specific way, why don’t we learn to humble ourselves and become more Christ-like? Becoming Christ-like in the way of spreading more love, mercy, and kindness wherever we go.
I’ll be the first to admit that it is easier said than done, but hey, I believe as long as we walk this journey of life with Jesus it is possible to live a full, satisfying, and enriching life.
I hope you’ve learned or were able to reflect on some things through this writing.
Until next time friends; remember to never stop growing!