Don't Gossip. It's Toxic.
“It is foolish to belittle one's neighbor, a sensible person keeps quiet. A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.”
Proverbs 11:12,13
How many of you like to be talked about behind your back?
Nol. Zero. Nada. Nggak Ada. No bueno.
Being talked about by someone you love, trust, and care about can have a negative and lasting impression. Majority of us want to be liked by other people. But what do we do when we hear someone talk bad about us?
Fun Fact: Gossiping is the easiest and fastest way to ruin a friendship or relationship.
Rather than talking bad about someone, why not bring them aside privately and let them know what you think about them? Plus if what you think about the person is worth sharing for edification purposes then I’m sure the other person will gladly receive the critical comment that will help them grow as a person.
I always tell my closest friends that if they have something to tell me then tell me straight to my face; and if they really care about me then they will be brutally honest with me despite knowing that their words might hurt or offend me.
All in all, I know their intention of correction is out of love.
Now believe it or not, both the gossiper and listener will end up being hurt one way or the other.
Merriam-Webster defines gossip as “a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others.”
Personal Experience: There is a person that always talks negatively about our mutual friend. Even though I am not responding to what this person is saying about our mutual friend, I eventually start to have this negative view about the person being talked about. Whenever I see that person, I instantly have this type of bad and cold attitude toward them. I would simply ignore them, my tone would sound harsh and mean towards them, etc.
Eventually I had to re-evaluate myself as to why I am acting a certain way to this person. He or she never did anything bad to me, so why on earth am I treating them very rudely?
Our perspective of someone can easily be blurred or corrupted by another person's opinion: a family member, friend, co-worker, etc. It is very dangerous to be around someone who spends most of their time gossiping about other people.
You end up drinking their toxicity without realizing it.
And do you think the “friend” that so easily talks to you about someone, won’t do the same thing behind your back? Think twice, they most likely will, and it’s best to not see them as your friend any longer.
If cutting them off is a bit too extreme, then maybe try suggesting a healthy advice to stop trash talking about someone or maybe change the topic of your conversation so that it does not involve gossiping other people.
As for me, I’m very big on guarding my heart and peace intentionally. Not saying that I never gossip, that would be a big fat lie. Everyone has gossiped at some point in their life, but lately I’ve been learning to draw a line of boundary to a gossip “friend” rather than developing a nasty habit of bad mouthing other people.
I’d rather be around people who encourage, strengthen, and bring the best out of me.
I hope to do the same to anyone that views me as their friend as well.
Healthy and whole individual brings the best out of the other person in any relationship. Whereas a gossiper’s natural habit is to always criticize the flaws and weaknesses of other people and project that negativity so that they can make themselves look better.
THAT IS WHY...I’ve learned to draw myself AWAY from a group of gossipers. I refuse to be poisoned by what someone else thinks especially if it is looking down on another person. That’s just plain rude. I’ve made a decision to always think positively and see the best in other people.
Jangan kepo rohani...Don’t be so quick to judge and have a false assumption about another person. Just because you've heard it from someone, doesn't mean it's true. Check your resources, re-check if necessary.
Lastly, if you have nothing nice to say, then zip it. It’s best to keep that poor opinion to yourself; after all, your view on others is a reflection of how you see yourself.
Remember dear ones to keep the bad negative vibe out and radiate only the positive ones! You are a flower that produces sweet honey, not a talking clashing garbage can.
Stay Lovely & Blessed!